It is common to struggle with doubts in divorce
Getting divorced is a big decision with the potential for many negative consequences. In light of this, you may experience significant doubts and worries throughout the process.
Should I stay or should I go? Is divorce the right move for me? What would divorce do to the kids? Can we mend the relationship or is it irreparably broken? These are just some of the many questions that may be running through your mind on a constant loop. Although there are no easy answers to these questions, you may find it helpful to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.
A recent British survey of 1,000 divorced adults revealed that many divorcees struggle with doubts and may hesitate and delay as a result. The survey found, for instance, that individuals on average thought about getting divorced for just over two years before finally choosing to do it.
Most respondents also said that they either wondered about or actively tried fixing their relationship before calling it quits. About 76 percent said they worked to fix their relationship problems prior to choosing divorce. On average, they spent about 18 months trying to mend things with their spouse.
You may also have doubts about your reasons for wanting a divorce. Except in clear cases of infidelity or spousal abuse, you may worry that your reasons are just soft excuses. The survey results did list infidelity and abuse in the top 10 reasons cited for divorce, but there were plenty of others that may sound familiar to you.
These included problems like poor communication, frequent arguments, falling out of love and simply being unhappy. All of these reasons are perfectly valid if they cause a significant rift in the relationship.
The important takeaway message is that when deciding between staying married and getting divorced, you may never be fully certain about your choice. Therefore, be kind to yourself and trust that you will ultimately make the right decision.
Source: The Huffington Post, “New Survey Sheds Light On How And Why Couples Call It Quits (INFOGRAPHIC),” March 25, 2014